Maria: What kind of music do you like?

Rory: Oh, wow, that's a rather mixed bag, really. I don't have one favourite genre or anything. What I do, actually, is tend to latch on to specific songs and listen to them on repeat for ages before moving on to something else.

Maria: What musical instruments do you enjoy listening to the most?

Rory: I think that depends on the context, really. But generally, piano or other instruments you might find in an orchestra, they're quite pleasant to listen to, at least in my opinion. Of course, I also listen to rock music, so someone jamming on a guitar can be quite fun as well when the occasion calls for it.

Maria: Do schools in your country have music lessons?

Rory: As far as I'm aware, yes. It's one of the core areas of the curriculum, so students get the chance to enjoy and participate in a variety of music-related activities. What they all are, I have no idea.

Maria: Have you ever learned to play a musical instrument?

Rory: Oh, I used to know how to play the recorder. That's a kind of instrument that's very similar to a flute, except it's got a different mouthpiece. And I made an effort at learning to play a few guitar chords, but I'm not like a maestro or something.

Maria: Rory, what do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?

Rory: Is it gonna be something moosical?

Maria: No, Rory, you don't answer this question. It's a joke.

Rory: Oh, sorry. I mean, what could the answer be?

Maria: You just... Like, why are you giving the answers?

Rory: Because I want to get this over with!

Maria: Yes, dear listener, it's a joke. So, a cow. Yeah, an animal. Cow. Black and white. So, what do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? A moosician!

Rory: I have a... I have a better one. And I'm not... I'm not joking when I say this. My friends and I have a WhatsApp group, and they've just sent something which is a complete coincidence. And this joke is amazing. So, this is from the ex, or the Twitter feed of PETA, which is an animal rights organisation in the UK. And they've posted something that says, cows are friends, not food. And someone replied saying, name one cow you're friends with. And this organisation's Twitter account replied with, your mother.

Maria: Wow.

Rory: Oh, that's so good. I love it.

Maria: Yeah, dear listener. So, they called someone’s mother a cow.

Rory: Yes, which is a way of referring to an unpleasant woman. It's not a nice thing to say, but it's an amazing coincidence for this podcast. An actual coincidence! Now we can move on. Hooray!

Maria: So, dear listener, you listen to music. Okay? I listen to songs. You don't say to, but I listen to songs. I listen to music. So, make sure that T is there.

Rory: That's so important. I cannot stress that enough. The number of people who study with me right now who make this mistake. Please, please listen to music.

Maria: And if you listen to different kinds of music or different genres, you can say that it's a rather mixed bag. So, a mixed bag of different genres, right? The different kinds of music, right, Rory?

Rory: Yeah. I couldn't think of... Oh, now I can. I said it's a mixed bag, but what I should have said is I have a fairly eclectic taste in music. Oh, yes. That also means it's just mixed. Eclectic is definitely a C2 word.

Maria: Yeah, so kind of like different kinds of music. You listen to pretty much everything. Classical music, jazz, pop music, blues, electronic music, funk, country music, dance music, rock music, pop music, electronic music, heavy metal, hip hop, folk music or country music, soul, Latin, disco. What else?

Rory: So many!

Maria: Yeah, okay.

Rory: Some even have names that sound made up.

Maria: I don't have a favourite genre, okay, or kind. I tend to latch onto specific songs. So, if you latch onto something... You listen to it until it becomes boring, which in my case is listening to the same song something like a hundred times. Yeah, so if you, I don't know, enjoy Queen, you know, Queen.

Rory: I do know Queen, yes. Not The Queen. We've made that mistake before.

Maria: No, no, no, no, Queen. So, if you enjoy Queen, you kind of stick to listening to Queen, their songs, or you latch onto something. Latch onto something is a phrasal verb. So, to become connected to something. We can also latch onto someone. If you stay close to someone, spend a lot, a lot, a lot of time with this person. So, kind of like he latched onto me. He started spending a lot of time with me, but that's negative, Rory?

Rory: I don't know. I think it depends on how you say it, to be honest with you, because I frequently say I latch onto people, and I mean it in a friendly way.

Maria: If you enjoy certain songs, you can say that I listen to them on repeat. So, you put this song on repeat, and you listen to it. Musical instruments. Usually, are used with articles, dear listener. For example, Rory…

Rory: Well, in my case, I would talk about the piano or the flute. Oh, wow. Again, I missed an opportunity. I could say various stringed instruments, like a harp or a viola or everything else that I think is a violin.

Maria: Yeah, you can say play the guitar, play the saxophone, and you can Google musical instruments list, and you'll see a list with pictures on Google, and you can choose maybe like three musical instruments and use them everywhere.

Rory: But definitely talk about the type. I didn't do that, and I wish I had now. Oh, that's such a mistake. So, you have basically three kinds of instruments. You have stringed instruments, like violins and cellos, and you have percussion instruments, like the drums, and you have woodwind instruments, which are things like saxophones, I think. Or is that brass? Oh, and you have flutes, which I'm pretty sure are that too. Maybe they're brass instruments, actually. Okay, maybe you could talk about different kinds of instruments, but just make sure you know what you're talking about here. I think that saxophones and flutes are brass instruments, but things like the recorders are woodwind instruments, as near as I can tell.

Chat GPT: Hi, ChatGPT here. Rory clearly doesn't know his musical instruments here, so let me explain. A musical instrument is something people use to make music, and there are five main types. First, string instruments have strings that you pluck, strum, or play with a bow. These include the guitar, violin, and cello. Second, woodwind instruments make sound when you blow air through them, sometimes using a small piece of wood called a reed. Examples are the flute, clarinet, oboe, and bassoon. Even though the flute is made of metal, and the saxophone is also made of metal, they are still called woodwind instruments because of how the sound is made. Third, brass instruments are made of metal and use air and lip vibration to make sound. These include the trumpet, trombone, and tuba. Fourth, percussion instruments make sound when you hit, shake, or scrape them. Some examples are drums, tambourines, and xylophones. Finally, keyboard instruments have keys that you press to play notes, like the piano and organ. Each type of instrument has a special sound, and together they create many different kinds of music around the world.

Rory: Oh wow…

Maria: Oh, dear listener, you can choose two names of very strange instruments, remember them, and impress the examiner. For example, I enjoy listening to oboe.

Rory: That’s a woodwind instrument for sure…

Maria: And Rory, do I need an article? So, I enjoy listening to a, an oboe, the oboe, or oboes.

The oboe, please.

Maria: The oboe, yeah. So, we have an article, the oboe, or I enjoy listening to the saxophone. Or to clarinet. Or to, for example, tuba, you know, this huge thing. And just google different instruments to listen to. Okay, the tuba, I enjoy listening to the tuba, nice. Oh, for example, banjo, to the banjo. And these instruments could be found in an orchestra. And who controls the orchestra, who is the main guy?

Rory: The conductor!

Maria: Yay! When you listen to rock music, there is one person who is playing the guitar. And this person jams on a guitar.

Rory: I think, well, as near as I'm aware, that's just another word for playing a tune on a guitar.

Maria: We have music lessons at schools. And they are called music lessons, Rory, or something else? Oh god, I think they're, they have different names in different countries. Some people have music lessons, sometimes it's called musical appreciation. I honestly, I despair when I think about the number of names we just give to these different things. It's all the same, it's all music. Yeah, we can say that they are part of the curriculum. So curriculum is the programme, is the number of subjects that students should learn. So curriculum, school curriculum, double R. And also students participate, take part in different music-related activities. Activities about music, when they sing songs, they dance, they perform stuff.

Rory: Maria is much better at knowing that than me, because I said I have no idea what they are, or what they are, I have no idea.

Maria: Yeah, which is okay… I play the piano, or I don't play any musical instrument, or I used to play the piano at school, okay? Or for example, I learned to play the flute, or I learned to play the drums, dear listener. And again, here you can use these two words that you've learned. I learned to play the harp. Just choose two interesting words for musical instruments, dear listener, learn them and use them. It's okay if you don't play them, but just use the words, okay? I learned to play a few guitar chords. They are called chords.

Rory: Make different sounds with a guitar.

Maria: Yeah, like musical notes, chords. Like a C major chord.

Rory: Oh, wow. Maria knows so much more about music than I do. I should have interviewed you. Totally.

Maria: So we can say, like, I learned how to play a few chords on the guitar, or on the piano, but I'm not, what did you say, virtuoso, maestro?

Rory: No, I'm not a maestro, which is like a master. I think in Italian it means teacher, or if you're a lady, maestra. But in the context we are talking about, it's a word in English, and we use it to describe someone who organises or conducts music, or that plays music really well. But it's also used to describe people who are masters in a particular field. I like to think I'm an English maestro. That's probably not true, but I like to think of myself this way.

Maria: Yeah, so a maestro, he is a man, because maestro, a man who is very skilled at playing or conducting music, okay? So if you are a woman, or a girl, you say maestra. But also another word about music is virtuoso, yeah? Virtuoso. How do you use it?

Rory: Oh, yes. Does that not mean it's a talented... I've never used it. I think it means someone who is especially talented in the musical department.

Maria: A person who is extremely skilled at something, especially at playing an instrument or performing. So if you are very good at playing the guitar, so you can say, I'm a virtuoso. Or you can say, I'm not a virtuoso. I just play the guitar, just for my friends, you know, like sing songs, but I'm not a virtuoso. But this word is usually used in the sphere of music, dear listener. So for example, he was a virtuoso on the piano. Or he was a virtuoso violinist. He played the violin.

Rory: Oh my God, that's wild.

Maria: And now Rory's vocabulary show.

Rory: Yep, it's that part of the show where I ask Maria questions about the different kinds of grammar and vocabulary we used in the episode. So Maria, you asked me what kind of music I liked, and I said I usually focus on one particular song, it doesn't matter what the genre is, before moving on. But I didn't say focus on, I used something else.

Maria: I latch onto specific songs.

Rory: Excellent, yes. And then I talked about someone playing a guitar in the second question, or in my answer to it. And I didn't say playing, I said something different.

Maria: Jamming on a guitar.

Rory: Very nice. And then you asked me about schools in my country having music lessons. And I said, yes, it's an important part of what they learn. But I didn't say that. I said something higher level. What was that?

Maria: These lessons are the core areas of the curriculum.

Rory: And in the last question, you asked me if I could play or had ever learned to play musical instruments. And I said I did, but I wasn't an expert or anything. But I didn't use this word expert. I said something else.

Maria: I'm not a maestro.

Rory: Excellent, Maria. One hundred percent. And you know what that means?

Maria: A bonus question.

Rory: Mm hmm. So in one of the questions, I said I enjoyed different musical instruments, but it depends on where I am or what's going on. But I didn't say that. I said something different.

Maria: I think it depends on the context, really.

Rory: Excellent. Yes. And you can use that for any answer.

Maria: OK, OK. So an interesting joke. Rory, could you please listen to it and explain it?

Rory: Have we not had an interesting? We've had several, actually.

Maria: No, it's just one joke. Come on. About a cow. So what's a pirate's favourite instrument? A pirate, dear listener. Jack the Sparrow, you know, pirates of the Caribbean. What's a pirate's favourite instrument?

Rory: That's a new one. What is it?

Maria: The guitar. I don't get the joke.

Rory: I do. Pirates are known for going or saying ar. And it's the last sound in the word guitar. This is our last episode, there will be no more. Bye!

Maria: Bye!

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